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Homeless, unemployed and ashamed ....

Bernard wrote:

I'm a 22-year-old male, and I'm in a bit of a pickle.

My ex-girlfriend and i have a child together, and we hate one another. I walked out on her about four months ago, and now not only am I unsure about her desire to press charges, I truly miss my daughter and the life we had together.

I'm homeless and unemployed, running from my past, and constantly depressed and lonely, but I can't face my ex and my family after the horrible thing that I did. Especially if it means jail time and ending up in a worse situation than i started in, lonely and depressed and homeless and ALSO in debt.

I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place, anon. Please, any insight you might have would be helpful and supportive in this difficult time. Thank you.

Dear Bernard

Your future is your hands. You don't say why you are unemployed and homeless, but clearly you should be helping to support the daughter you miss, and facing up to your responsibilities.

Only then will your ex-girlfriend be able to make peace with you, and allow you to see your daughter; I am sure you can understand that she is hardly likely to be sympathetic right now.

You do not give details about your situation, so it's not possible to give detailed advice. But I'd suggest - in order - the following:

1. Sort yourself out: home; job. If you need help, medical or psychological, then seek it out.

2. Start making appropriate support payment to your ex-girlfriend

3. Apologise to her for the way you have treated her; if you can make peace, arrange to begin to pay the backlog of what you owe.

Then (a) she may allow you access to your daughter and (b) you can both draw a line under this and move on with your separate lives.

I'm not saying this is easy. I'm saying this is what you need to do.

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