Where to go in life?
I typed a long story then realized I was getting side tracked. I am 35 and I feel tired all the time, I dont have the energy to care if anything is getting done. I have never been a good house keeper. I would let thing clutter and then do a deep clean at the end of the week. Now I dont care. I do the basics dishing and laundry when I need it.
My hobbies mean nothing to me anymore. I feel like life is a waste of time. You build all this stuff in life for nothing. Most the time at the end of life relatives are just going to throw away what you thought was worth keeping.
The only thing that keeps me out of bed is work of course and my daughter. When she was first born I felt full of life. Like a wise teacher, I had to be there for her and guide her. Now 7 yrs later I feel like I let her down all the time. She ask to do things. I always say no. I just dont feel like dealing with the mess.
I dont have any outlets of life. I dont drink or do drugs. In my early 20's I smoked pot every blue moon. Back then life seems like a big adventure. Now it feel like a rerun of a show I am tired of. Each day I feel I hate people. I can not stand to hear people whine or complain about their life. I have never been into exercise. When I was a teen the only thing I did was walk and hang around friends.
I keep thinking maybe I been in one place to long. maybe I need a change. But since my job is great and the benefits are wonderful. I need my medical insurance due to my RA. I cant just quit or move.
Help! How can i get my happiness back or my zest for life?
Not an easy one. Your note reads as if you have everything you want, and you do not describe any one thing that is a real clue. You don't say how well you do at work - or if you have any friends or social life associated with work.
However, I suspect you are lonely, and you give the impression you have no life beyond your home and your daughter.
You don't mention her mother, or how well the child is doing faced with a morose and despondent father.
If it wasn't for her, I'd start by suggesting you work on your social life, and see where that takes you ... but for her sake, I'd go straight for professional help. There's something there that's damaging you, and if you don't deal with it, your daughter will be damaged too. And at her age, damage could be for life.