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Boyfriend depends on his Ex

Ursula wrote:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. His ex girl friend has been trying to get him back ever since. We break up every now again always over her. After we break up she wants nothing to do with him. But when we get back together she wants him back.

A few days ago we got in a fight and he told her he loved her. When I asked him about it he told me he said it to make me mad. That he didn’t mean it. But they email a lot.

She is trying to get kicked out of her house. He told her that she can live with him. He tells me it’s as just friends but he has cheated on me with her. I feel that if they live together and am around each other 24/7 that he will leave me for her or that something will happen. He says it would be as just friends. But I hear the way she talks about them moving in and she doesn’t want to be just friends. She is going to use this moving in as a way to get him back.

His house is a one bedroom and one bathroom. I don’t want to lose him, but I really don’t know what to do about this. I have tried talking to him about this and told him the things she has said. Every time he says he see where I am coming from and promise she will not move in but the next day he tells her she can. Is he trying to be a good friend? This girl has family she could live with. I just don’t know what to do or think about this. Is it time to call it off for good or should I stay?

Dear Ursula

You can't lose him, as he is not yours to lose.

She has him in the palm of her hand, and she has him for as long as she wants him. Maybe even after that. If that was not true, he'd have moved on by now. It's never going to happen.

His loyalty to you is shallow, and when he says "just friends", he either being very stupid, or he thinks you are.

You cannot win, and you know it. You can keep trying to fool yourself, and hope she falls under a bus, but even if she did, every time you argue, he'll be at her grave, telling her about it.

Please don't take that too seriously - I'm making a point!

Go take a break, then find a man who not only likes you, but respects you too.

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