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Loathsome Boyfriend's Family

Sadie wrote:

I have been reading a few tips on dealing with in laws and mine are unbearable, disrespectful and very trashy. But I really do have to say 90% of that fault goes to my husband. Well we will be married soon. He has this problem of leaving whenever we have a disagreement, he has been doing this since I first met him,and no I know its not because of someone else or because he doesn't want to be here, its just his way of doing things.

He ruined his first marriege the same way, which was confirmed by his ex-wife, he runs to his families house and tells our business and plays the victim, which little by little has caused the whole familt to turn against me even though they are very problematical people and have strife between each other.

But it wasn't with me until he kept coming back and forth saying all this stuff about me, Lord knows that i am very good to him and he saids he knows it too, but I don't trust him because all of these problems have been caused because of him letting them disrespect me by calling me all types of names,and cussing at me and calling my house and leaving horrible disrespectful messeges..

I don't believe it when he saids that he stuck up for me when he has stood there when they have cursed at me and said nothing at all, we are not married but I'm not sure if I want to be, in the back of my mind when ever we disagree I am very sarcastic because I think he is going to leave to his momas which he has always done.

It hurts not them not liking me but the fact that it was caused by him putting me down, when all I ever did was defend myself because he saids that I should forget it all and whenever something bothers me I can't talk to him about it because he gets upset, and he saids he doesnt want to hear it, should I even continue this relationship. Because I dont even want his last name if we get married and when he mentions those people I'm enraged, but in back of my mind I hate him too, for all that he said and done to cause all these people to hate me without a real cause, because everyone disagrees and fights at one point in their relationship, we are only human, I have gotten on my knees for the lord to help to let go of the anger but I hate them and part of me hates him just as much.

He is a good man but I don't and can't trust him to respect and defend me and that hurts because a big part of me really wants to.

Please Please give me some advice should I continue with this relationship, and marry this man. He has said he is sorry, but in the back of my mind he always has one foot in and one foot out.

Is it even worth it or is God telling me to let it go that he is not the one for me ,which hurts just the thought but sometimes what we want isnt always whats best for us, right?

Dear Sadie

I cannot imagine for one second why you are within ten feet of this man - let alone planning to marry him.

  • You don't like him
  • You don't respect him
  • You don't like his family
  • His family don't like you
  • He has learned nothing from one failed marriage

Why wait for the inevitable divorce? Walk away now, or risk fifty years of hatred with his family (or a couple of years, followed by a nasty divorce.

I don't think God needs to tell you what's staring you right in the face.

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