Unfriendly friend from overseas
I have a friend
from overseas. We have been friends for seven years. He lives in Milan and I live
in Brisbane, Australia.
I flew him to visit me in Melbourne for ten days.
I am quite comfortable and could afford it. I like to be generous with my friends.
his last night in Australia, we went out for dinner with friends. Afterwards,
he and my friends went out to a nightclub. He met someone and didnt come home
for an entire day. His plane home departed at 5pm. He missed this plane and I
had to reschedule for him, incurring fees and charges.
I was also due to
fly away with work the next day. I called work and explained that my friend was
missing and that I had to cancel my flight the next day as I needed to remain
in Brisbane to look for him. I lodged a missing person's report with the police
and called all the hospitals. I was frantic. My friend then comes home at about
7.30pm. He would not talk to me other than to say he "crashed at a guy's
place from drinking too much" and this guy helped him get a new flight later
in the week. I was so angry I left the apartment and returned an hour later.
about 10pm his new friend called and I answered the phone. He asked to speak to
my overseas friend who was asleep at the time. I told him to go away (sanitised
version) because I had been put through hell that day and wanted to sleep.
person then came to the apartment, left an abusive letter for me, along with a
letter for my overseas friend. I received them next morning. I made the stupid
mistake of calling this person from my mobile phone. I subsequently received the
most abusive and disgusting text messages from this person. I have subsequently
been told by people who know this person that he is a major cocaine addict.
my friend woke up he was aggressive and angry. I again left the apartment and
returned an hour later. He was then quite meek and remorseful. I explained that
I rescheduled his flight to later in the week. He thanked me.
I then left
again to run an errand. When I returned he just got off the phone from his new
friend and discovered that I did not pass on the message nor a letter from the
night before. His new friend then arrived at the aprtment building and they went
off for about an hour. His new friend was aggressive and rude to the apartment
building's reception staff, calling the manager a cheap whore who was running
a dodgy residence. I was informed of this later in the day by the manager.
my overseas friend was away talking with his new friend I was so angry I foolishly
placed all my friend's belongings in the hallway. When my friend returned, I was
apologetic for doing this and brough them all back inside. By then it was too
late. My friend packed and left to go and stay with his new friend, even though
his new friend had been, and continued to, send me abusive text messages. I showed
these messages to my overseas friend. he didnt seem to care.
My friend has
since returned to Milan. I have tried to communicate with him but only receive
the most outrageously nasty and hateful emails. All he can focus on is that I
didnt pass on a letter and message, and placed his belongings in the hallway.
He does not in anyway acknowledge all I did for him the day he disappeared. Annoyingly,
his new friend lives about ten minutes walk from my apartment building. He could
have easily returned or at least called me to let me know he was safe.
I done anything wrong?
I'm trying to figure out one
thing you did right.
I'm guessing you don't own the guy, and you are not married
to him, so I'm wondering why you think you can control his life.
to be generous with my friends"
Oh yeah? From where I'm sitting, it looks
like you rented his time for your entertainment, and then got jealous. The way
you treated him was not what I call friendly, and you disrespected both him and
his new friend.
You deceived him and tried to upset him, then wonder why he
got upset? Duh?
No-one made you spend money on him; you chose to. But all the
money in the woprld doesn't buy you the right to control 'friends' - if control
is what you want, try an escort agency.
If you feel he was using you, all you
had to do was ask him to leave. It's no good whining about him being unreasonable
when you were twice as unreasonable.
Just out of interest, why are you still