He Won't Marry Me
My man and I have been together
for 12 years. Between the two of us we have five children. (ready made family)
nine years ago he asked me to marry him, some day.
I got 1/2 carat diamond
ring for my birthday two days ago. He wants me to wear it on my left hand ring
finger, but he said he won't marry me.
I feel as though I'm being cheated
and wasting my time. I'm tired of playing house. I do love him more than anything
on this Earth.
Why am I good enough to be just his girlfriend and not his
wife? Neither of us have been married before. All that's going to change is my
What should I do if anything at all. I am so heartbroken it's starting
to feel like depression. Not to mention that he gave me the ring in front of all
of our friends. I feel humiliated. I was lead to believe we were going to get
married in 2010. I asked him if we could plan a wedding for then and he said no.
Hearted and Confused
First, look at things from his
POV; he's got all he needs, why would he marry you?
Second, why ask now, not
before you moved in with him?
Third, are you prepared to leave him if he won't
I don't know him, but most men will take the easier option, most
would argue "It's great, why rock the boat?"
And there is some logic
to that. If marriage was so important, why did you wait twelve years? What - in
your view - will change if you do marry?
You could threaten to leave him, and
that might work - but suppose it doesn't?
At this time, all I can suggest is
counselling, if he won't discuss the situation with you. But you need to be clear
about why; is this a battle iof control, or will it really make a difference?