He won't commit ...Venus wrote: I have been dating this
guy for almost two years now (it will be two years in May). We have a good relationship
and get along very well. He is three years younger than me (I am 33 years old).
I have my own place and he still lives at home with his parents. He is an only
child and when I first met him all he cared about was going out and his car. As
time went own he has matured a lot. We practically live together but without any
of the responsibilities on his part. He stays over about five nights out of seven.
About four months ago I started to tell him that I wanted us to have a more stable
relationship and that I wanted to move forward. He said he wanted the same thing
and that I was the woman he wanted to marry and live with. I waited for a sign
on his part. In December I exploded and told him that I needed more that
I was tired of being the way it was. I asked him to really think about what he
wanted out of his life and to tell me. I also told him to take some days to think
about it. A couple of days later he invited me out to dinner and told me tat he
wanted to commit and that in January we would start to live together. Now
January has come around and I am waiting for him to make a move. I asked two days
ago what his plans were and when was he planning to move in. He answered me oh!
We have time lets no rush things. He even accused me of pressuring him. I reminded
him of our conversation in December. He told me not to worry that things were
going to happen, that I needed to wait and let things happen and that two years
is not a long time. I asked him if he was happy and if I was the woman
he wanted to marry. He answered yes. So, then I asked what are we waiting for
.
He couldnt give me an answer. Our conversation ended there, and it was back
to our usual life. Yesterday he called me at work and told me that he has booked
two trips one in May to Milan and the other in June to Madeira. This February
we are already going to Berlin. I dont think he takes me seriously. I dont
know what to do anymore
Please help!!! Dear Venus He
is who he is. Either there's a problem with the relationship (which you don't
know / won't address), or there's a problem with him. You need to ask yourself
if he really is the guy for you; are you prepared to walk away if he won't give
in? Let's face it, you HAVE been pressuring him (read what you wrote), and he's
not taken a blind bit of notice. Realise, too, that if he moves in, what
on Earth is going to make him marry you? If marriage is on your agenda (and not
necessarily true, see: Above all, remember that he is who he
is; the details may change, but the underlying person probably will not. Good
Luck! |