Sister Out of Control
I'm 31 yrs old and my
sister is 26. We're both adults, and we live together, but I can't stop worrying
about the people she decides to hang out with. She has a history of consorting
with unsavory characters since she turned 21, and the habit isn't dissipating
at all. This isn't a phase. She doesn't seem to reject anybody that comes into
her life. There's no switch in her head that says "not cool", she wants
to give anyone and everyone a chance. It's as if she's unable to discriminate
a good crowd from a bad crowd... or doesn't want to.
I recently discovered
next to the phone a mailing address to a prison, and she admitted to writing to
someone in jail. Since people in jail have access to email, I can only assume
that she needs the postal address in order to mail packages to him. This is bad
news, and I can only see things getting worse.
Is she so starved for attention
that she doesn't care where she gets it from? Or is it a way to relieve boredom?
She is equally promiscuous, has unprotected sex, and often does naked-chats online
with strangers. Her so-called friends often hurt and manipulate her, but she doesn't
learn from her mistakes. It's her life, and we're adults, but I can't help but
be concerned. How can I turn a blind eye? She's my sister! Do I have the right
to be concerned, or should I just mind my own freakin' business? If I'm right
to be concerned, what can I do? This issue has come up many times before, communication
has always been open, and she's aware of my worries about her lack of discrimination.
Two close mutual friends have expressed the same concern to her, and she responds
the same way. She insists she's not stupid, and is fully aware of the choices
she makes. How can I stand by and watch her make these wrong choices over and
over again? How can I help her, or reach her?
Thank you, I'd be grateful
for any advice.
The key to your problem is not her
behaviour, but the fact you live together.
You are both adults; her behviour
is none of your business - sure, you care; so you tell her what you think. After
that, it's up to her.
Nagging won't help, nor will worrying.