My husband is alcoholic - and doesn't know it
need help desperately!!
I have been married to my husband for 16 years
and together for 18. We have 2 children together and 1 from a previous marriage
When we were first together we used to party a lot, then I got
pregnant and grew out of it. I like to drink a little now and then. My husband
drinks nothing but beer every day of the week, at night when he goes to bed he
will drink water.
On the weekend he starts drinking beer right when he
gets out of bed. He is a very hard worker and never misses work, he works in construction
and all the guys he works with all drink too. When he gets off work he usually
commutes about an hour and starts drinking in his vehicle while he drives home
and by the time he gets home is either buzzed or intoxicated.
I have even
seen him drive with my kids in the car and a beer resting between his legs as
he is trying to be inconspicuous. I have tried everything and threatened him over
and over again. My kids are now 12, 16 and 22 and it is effecting them tremendously.
He is not a mean drunk but he acts like the biggest, brattiest kid you
will ever meet and demands attention when he is intoxicated. My kids have no respect
for him anymore. The problem is that when he is not intoxicated he is an awesome
Unfortunately, I only see him like that about 15% of the time. I have
asked him many times too cut down and not to drink and he agrees with me then
hides the beer and lies to me about how much he has drank. I am at the end and
don't know what to do. I feel like I am never happy anymore and have lost myself
along the way.
We have so much to loose if we seperate and I don't know
how to survive on my own. He is the main money maker. I wouldn't even know how
to leave him. If you can help me I would really appreciate it. He has admitted
to having a problem in the past, but all of his friends make jokes about drinking
beer and they all think it is cool. I don't see him making a change.
Trouble is, his alcoholism is your problem, so
far as he's concerned. He really has no idea that he has a problem. Not uncommon
in alcoholics who can hold down a job ... until they get caught out, or crash
If the kids are being hurt - emotionally, if not physically - then
something has to give. Try to catch him sober and have a serious conversation,
tell him you've has enough, tell him he needs to see a doctor and needs more help.
But expect that it will not work (though it conceivably could). Most likely
you'll need to think about leaving him before he wakes up to the problem. And
that will not be easy - but if the kids are being hurt, then you cannot just wait
until he crashed the car - or turns violent. can you?
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