He won't get married!

Penny wrote:

Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for four years, living together for three years and have two children (two year old and eight months old).

We've had A LOT of up's and downs. Recently you'd have to check with us just to see which end we are at that day. But besides all that, we both love each other and want to be together.

Well people have been asking me "when are you guys getting married?" and I HATE having to say I don't know! We've discussed it before, and his response is always after 5 years or when things get better or we don't have the money, or some other lame excuse. His mom has told me that he thinks if we get married we will get divorced because everyone in his family that gets legally married gets divorced.

But I come from a family where the situation we are in (two kids, not married) is basically unacceptable. My parents have been married for 27 years, and got married at a courthouse with about 20 people there.

So it's not like I am looking for this extravagant 400 guest wedding, I just would like to be married, I mean we might as well be, but to my family, we are not.

I love him but I'm just tired of the excuses and am at the point where it's either a marriage certificate or sianara. What can I do?

Dear Penny,

If marriage is so important, then why didn't you get married before you lived together; before you had children?

Point is, from his point of view, you are not a lot different to a wife, and mother of his children. He has little to gain, and a lot of effort to lose to grant you your wish.

You could always threaten to leave him, but if that fails to shift him, you'll look a little silly.

Decide how important this is to you, and how far you are prepared to go to push him, then sit him down for a serious discussion.

Good Luck!