I'm helpless and I'm so down
Dear Mr. Anon,
I'm writing you because as of this moment, I have no one to talk to...I feel so
hopeless, so worthless and so remorseful. I even think of wishing to disappear
in this world...I don't know what to do and what to think, how to live.
I have committed a very big sin, you can call it a crime, I was caught stealing
in my job and I was fired by the manager and they wanted to file charges which
means that they contacted the police and I would be in jail...I don't know why
I have done that and I was afraid to go to jail and be away from my family ( I'm
married with 3 kids ).
So, I ask for mercy and beg for forgiveness to the
manager, I was crying so hard and really sorry for what I've done and really at
that time I'm thinking of my family that I don't want them to suffer for what
I did, I should be the one to be punished and I don't want them to get affected.
My manager was so disappointed in me and was surprised to know what I did even
my husband but the kids don't know anything. Because of pity and knowing that
I'm really remorseful, my manager just ask me to pay back the money and did not
file anymore charges, and I'm so thankful.
My husband is so kind and he's
still there for me, loving and caring for me even though I cause him a lot of
pain, troubles and shame. Now, I feel so ashamed and I know this incident will
be known to our friends & everyone here in our small town...what really is
crushing my heart is the shame and trouble I put my family, if only I can be the
only one to bear the shame and sufferings but I can feel that my husband is demoralized...and
maybe soon my kids, my whole family...
I'm so low and so hopeless, really
I learned my lesson and would like to start a new honest life but how...I can't
even walk outside our house and I'm so ashamed to face anyone...I don't know what
to do...one friend was trying to talk to me asking me about what happened but
I don't know how to answer...I became so scared and so inferior and maybe this
is punishment that I have to deal with everyday of life and I'm accepting whatever
because I know it's a huge mistake and a sin I committed.
Please help me,
I need your enlightenment. Thanks so much for reading my e-mail.
The manager was good to you, and your husband was understanding.
Both gave you the chance to move on, and leave it all behind you. You must do
exactly that - punishing yourself is only hurting your husband and your children.
Self pity never helped anyone. Ever.
If you have truly learned your lesson,
then you know that you must accept whatever comes. So far, it's all been good
- and if they have faith in you, then you should repay that by having faith in
There's no easy answer; what's done is done, and while you may feel
shame, you cannot go back - only forward. So do that!