I'm in love with my girlfriend's male cousin
with am amazing girl, Beth. I have been with her for over two months now, but
we have had a mutual crush for months and months before the actual relationship
begun. Up to this point, she's the best girl I have ever been with. I can really
see us going places.
There is a guy, named Jacob, who I've been friends
with for a while. I've known him longer than Beth, and in fact he helped introduce
us. Ever since I've met Jacob I've had feelings for him. I do not know where these
feelings are coming from, but I feel so unbelievably passionate about him. He
is Beth's cousin.
Now, my sexuality is a big train wreck. For the most
part, I'm straight. I guess. Well, probably not.
I know when guys are good-looking
or not, and sometimes I "think" about them sexually, but Jacob is a
different story. I felt for him as I do for Beth now within the first month of
Jacob and I's friendship.
I am not out. Only one of my friends, Mary, knows
where my sexuality stands. I live in a very closed-minded town, with a generally
closed-minded family. I've receive death threats from kids at my highschool for
just being accused of being gay. However, Jacob recently came out as to being
bisexual. That only strengthened the feeling I have for him.
I told him how I felt. He said nothing could be done about it because I am with
Beth, but the feelings are mutual.
Now, I am stuck. What do I do Anon?
Please help me.
I don't think it's ever right
to deliberately deceive people who care about you; OK, maybe the occasional little
But not a total deceit of the kind you are playing with.
course, deceiving yourself is just plain stupid - "she's the best girl I
have ever been with. I can really see us going places" and "Last night
I told him how I felt."
You don't need my advice; you know that Beth deserves
better than you, and you know that your feelings are for her cousin.
that it's not advice you need, but courage. You are certainly not the first man
stuck in the closet; and you won't be the last, though your species is on the
road to extinction. This is the 21st century. You are who you are.Live with it
- and even if you cannot, at least don't try to make others suffer in your place.