In-law Hell Before Marriage
I know you have
answered in-laws question before too but I am getting married in few months but
before my wedding I have got to know my in-laws for past eight months they seem
okay at occassions when everybody is around but with me they don't mind giving
They don't like anything I wear or choose ... they simply make
fun and say its cheap and that I didn't have a sense of class that includes my
wedding dress and jewellery. They say you can choose your wedding dress but as
soon as I select something they reject it 'openly and choose something else which
I don't like. We havent got onto a conclusion but chances are they will end up
choosing something for me.
Their comments hurt me and I end up having fight
with my husband going to be ....especially my hubby's sis who's married thinks
she knows everything.
They also planning to live together at same place
after wedding (for now everyone lives seperatly but they planing to live together
after my marriage at my husbands house). I know that will jepordize my privacy
but I haven't talked to my fiance as yet about it.
There are other little
issues too which are little for now cause I don't talk but if i would it would
lead to serious fight.
I am going to start a new life, I need advice so
I can handle things before its too late. I want advice on how to behave in such
situations and how to handle something that I don't like. I get hyper and start
crying when they say somthng my mom says you show them you are weak.
tell me what to do and also what's my husband's role should be in these matters
and how to convince him without fight.
Thanks you are doing a really good
job I never saw anthing like this site before your advices are very realistic
and mature keep up the good work
I could give you
long lectures about being calm and assertive, and even teach you how to drop hints
they won't see the grandchildren if they don't back off - but we have to be realistic.
You are what you are, and you cannot change your personality in just a few months.
you have to realise is that nothing will change - ever - unless you make it change.
this a marriage of choice, or arranged?
If it's an arranged marriage, then it's
not so easy; but I do know that many, many women have found themselves trapped
in this way, and have come through successfully. I don't mean they've rejected
the whole system (though some have), I mean they've found the ways that make life
liveable and successful.
If that's the way it is, then you need to spend serious
time with your mother, and every woman you know who has had an arranged mariage;
many will have faced similar problems, and most will have got past them. The system
would not have survived for thousands of years unless it could be made to work
- your people would have become extinct! Seek wisdom from experience. You are
If not an arranged marriage, then you need to be saying to your husband-to-be
that you are simply not prepared to be treated like an idiot for the rest of your
life, and if he doesn't show that he's going to stand by you - and listen to you
- then the wedding is off.