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Respecting decisions

Steve wrote:

For the past month or so now, my girlfriend and I have been talking about oral sex. At first, I seemed completely open to the idea. As time progressed, I started to develop some qualms as I officially realized that it was against my religion. (I'm a devout Roman Catholic, although somewhat liberal).

Today, I made a decision and decided that I did not want to have oral sex with her YET. She blew up and said that I had built up the excitement of this moment of intimacy with her, and today, I just took that all away. Plus, she said she didn't agree with my reasons for not wanting to do it, one of which were that I had decided that I did not want my future children to have oral sex when they were my age, (I'm a 15 year old boy) and so I did not want to be a hypocrite. Another reason was that I was too young and I just didn't want to do it yet. However, she's still mad at me.

We have been together for eight months now and this hurts me; that my girlfriend can't respect my decisions and always has to challenge them. (she is Protestant, I am Catholic) I understand that there will always be some disagreements in what we believe in, but I don't want her to keep challenging my beliefs ever single time they conflict with hers.

Not only is it tiring and annoying, it makes me wonder if our relationship will last much longer if this continues, as it also hurts me on the inside. I was just wondering if you had any advice on how to deal with this.

Dear Steve


You make a deal, You change your mind, and she's in the wrong for daring to disagree?

May I remind you that she's your girlfriend, not your possession?

By all means stick to your beliefs; but she is just as entitled to hers. Where do you get off with this assumption that your beliefs are 'better', and she is not holding her own beliefs, but 'challenging yours'.

Maybe you'd be wiser and happier finding someone who agrees with your views?

Then you'd not need to bully them or whine when they had a thought of their own.

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