Six Months of Marriage ... and it's falling apart

Leonie wrote:

I just got married six months ago, and we have a two month year old baby girl. My husband is a great father and a wonderful husband.

Recently I've noticed that he has been looking at other women. I thought it was normal but lately I feel soo disrespected. I sit at home 7 days a week full time mom. I've been back to my normal small size, I came out of labor without no stretch marks. My body is back to normal. But lately I've been so insecure about myself, what am I not doing for my husband to look at other women?

When I go to the store once a week with him I'm soo happy to get out of the house, and their he goes and ruins it. So we talked about it, and he said he will stop. But now I feel like I'm so damaged inside, as why he was doing it we just got married is he already bored of looking at me?

Now when I try to bring it up and share more of my feelings he starts telling me to drop it cause he stopped. I'ts gotten to the point where I hate watching movies cause I think he watches them for pretty women ... and it makes me uncomfortable. I am soo unhappy ... Help

Dear Leonie

On one hand you say he's a wonderful husband, next you say he makes you feel damaged and disrespected. I can see you are mixed up about this ... and that's making it tough for him too.

You say that your body has got back to normal, but have you? What else has changed between the two of you since before you were expecting? Didn't he always look at other women?

You need to be clear in your mind about what's happening, before you can think about a way forward. But one thing is already very clear - you are fighting about the wrong thing entirely.

Looking at other women is NOT the problem. The problem is that there's something wrong with your relationship. Concentrate on finding out what that problem is before you attack him for his behaviour.

That will just make sorting the REAL problem more difficult.