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What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

Sonya wrote:

My boyfriend and I dated for a year and a half, we were each other first loves and we just had that spark that even so many marriages do not have. We talked everything through and we were seen by other people "the perfect couple".

Then out of nowhere I started to become careless. I guess I just took him for granted, I called him less and less at night to talk, and I started to drink here and there and went to parties and he did not like that. It just did not register in my head for some dumb reason and so we went on a break. That freaked me out and I stopped all my nonsense but I hurt his heart too much I guess and he kept telling me "We just can't date right now. You need to go have fun and not worry about me. If it's meant to be we will meet again someday. I honestly see you as my wife, you have all the qualities I want, but we just need to see other people."

It broke my heart, and two months after we broke up he dated someone else out of the blue. She is everything I'm not and it kills me! We decided to try and just let go and see if it comes back, and now that he has a girlfriend (which is so strange) I'm not going to be the crazy ex and call him to see how he is doing. It is just so hard to see and believe his words(he is always so sincere) when he has this gorgeous woman with him.

Why would he ever want to come back to me? I just need some guidance. I truly believe that what is meant to be will work itself out in the end, but seeing him with her just contradicts it all. Please help me!

Dear Sonya

"I truly believe that what is meant to be will work itself out in the end". Me too. But what makes you think that includes you?

I'm sorry to be so brutal, but from what you say, it seems clear enough that he had lost trust in you, and was letting you down as gently as he could.

You (sensibly) have decided not to be a "crazy ex", and so you'll just have to wait and see how things pan out ... but from where I'm sitting, I suspect you had your chance ... now she's having hers.

They say you never quite get over your first love, and that may be so - but life goes on, and you need to go on, too.

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