"Just Friends"??

Natasha wrote:

Know this isn't any shock to you but I need your advice.

There's this guy that basically lead me on and made me believe that he was interested at one point, kissed my side, played with my hair, complimented my eyes, voice everything and said I make him smile all the time.

Well I finally asked him if we would ever be more then friends or at least move on and we both decided that we're better off as friends. I personally took it a little hard, got drunk one night with our friends and had an emo night and ended up crying in front of him saying I don't understand.

We had another talk later on and I finally felt completely fine just being friends and we agreed to that and things were ok, until we went out with friends again. While we were out he would dance with everyone else but when I played around and asked him to dance he would give the excuse that he was too drunk and didn't even get up out of his chair and he never really got ahold of me or anything unless I got ahold of him first.

Earlier, like a month, he had promised me that he would go to the lakers vs. bulls game with me and he promised he would go until after the "just friends" thing happened. He constantly kept asking me so have you found someone else to go because I don't think I can and I'll bore you. I tried and couldn't find anyone who was available with the game in less then a week, he said he didn't want me to be alone and would go until he called today which is 3 days before the game and said he can't go and wouldn't tell me why.

I am so upset that he would do this to me and confused. He really isn't one of my friends or doesn't want to hang out with me does he?? I feel horrible knowing that now I am probably going to be all alone at somewhere I'm not used to in the dark, in the ghetto with horrible weather coming and I wasted $250 on this game now. What should I do?? Please help me.

Dear Natasha

You can fool some of the people, some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

You seem to have fooled yourself that you are "completely fine just being friends", but you have not fooled me. And, more to the point, you have not fooled him.

Of course he's scared to be around you, as he knows you are living a lie, and therefore vulnerable - and liable to do what all men dread most - create an emotional scene. I'm sure he'd love to be friends - but he knows you feel a little differently.

The one person on this planet you should avoid lying to is yourself. until you come clean, there's no way you'll ever get over him.