Orthodox background preventing me from telling her
I'm from an orthodox church , from a very conservative country. I strongly
believe in my faith and that I shouldn't be committing adultery etc. so I didnt
wanna think about getting a gf till I was ready for a commitment. and being strongly
ambitious , didnt want that to happen till I was abt 25 and well settled.
had this set of conditions that I had set in my mind of how she should be etc.
... and frankly those set of conditions got me through all these years with out
much of a conflict or a strong crush.
That was untill I came to know a girl
from my own church. I had known her (just as friends) for some years. I never
had any crush till last summer, when we added each other on messenger and chatted. soon
we became really comfortable chatting with each other (still in a friendly manner)
and she told me about her plans of how she had these set of conditions how the
boy should be and how those set of conditions got her thru her life without much
of an heartache. It also turned out that we had a lot more in common. and maybe
this was when I started having feelings for her. I wont deny that I tried to ignore
it, crush it, suppress it.
Now being so inexperienced in the field of love,
I can't make out if she likes me or not. Because of our orthodox background we
don't even openly flirt (and I dont regret it) . But I need to know if she likes
Asking her seems to be too risky an option, it might jeopardize our
friendship. Not just our but my relationship with her whole family, I have known
her brother before I knew her.
I'm a bit confused. I'm sooner or later gonna
ask her. I just want to know how do I tell, thru non verbal signs if she even
likes me a little bit. Not as a friend but like someone who she might want to
spend her life with. Because if she doesn't like me , then I might as well spend
my energy getting these thoughts out of my mind.
Sorry for the long letter.
I don't really expect a useful advice since our backgrounds are totally different.
But I'm looking for a different point of view to this whole situation.
ps: I know she thinks highly of me. Maybe cause I'm good at studies
and have a good reputation.
pps: I have been popular at school, lots of
friends. Girls have shown interest in me. Just that I wasn't interested then.
So you can take shyness out of the picture.
I came from the same culture, I'd still be saying "Talk To Her"; some
things cannot be left to body language and guesswork. You need to know.
doesn't mean diving in and saying "I love you" or (much worse) "I
want to marry you". It means saying you enjoy her company; that she makes
you feel good, that you care.
Pick the time and place, and take it slowly,
and you'll soon know if you've said too much - but long before any damage is done.
There's no magic signs, really; just make eye contact, and if she looks uncomfortable,
then pause for breath and decide if you should give her a chance to say something.
do take it slowly; otherwise you might mistake emarassment, even surprise, for
rejection - which would really make things a little complicated.