Advicemeant - Honest Advice
Home | About | Warning | Forum | Contact | Privacy | Tried & Tested
Custom Search

Orthodox background preventing me from telling her

Kenny wrote:

I'm from an orthodox church , from a very conservative country. I strongly believe in my faith and that I shouldn't be committing adultery etc. so I didnt wanna think about getting a gf till I was ready for a commitment. and being strongly ambitious , didnt want that to happen till I was abt 25 and well settled.

I had this set of conditions that I had set in my mind of how she should be etc. ... and frankly those set of conditions got me through all these years with out much of a conflict or a strong crush.

That was untill I came to know a girl from my own church. I had known her (just as friends) for some years. I never had any crush till last summer, when we added each other on messenger and chatted. soon we became really comfortable chatting with each other (still in a friendly manner) and she told me about her plans of how she had these set of conditions how the boy should be and how those set of conditions got her thru her life without much of an heartache. It also turned out that we had a lot more in common. and maybe this was when I started having feelings for her. I wont deny that I tried to ignore it, crush it, suppress it.

Now being so inexperienced in the field of love, I can't make out if she likes me or not. Because of our orthodox background we don't even openly flirt (and I dont regret it) . But I need to know if she likes me.

Asking her seems to be too risky an option, it might jeopardize our friendship. Not just our but my relationship with her whole family, I have known her brother before I knew her.

I'm a bit confused. I'm sooner or later gonna ask her. I just want to know how do I tell, thru non verbal signs if she even likes me a little bit. Not as a friend but like someone who she might want to spend her life with. Because if she doesn't like me , then I might as well spend my energy getting these thoughts out of my mind.

Sorry for the long letter. I don't really expect a useful advice since our backgrounds are totally different. But I'm looking for a different point of view to this whole situation.

Thanking you.

ps: I know she thinks highly of me. Maybe cause I'm good at studies and have a good reputation.

pps: I have been popular at school, lots of friends. Girls have shown interest in me. Just that I wasn't interested then. So you can take shyness out of the picture.

Dear Kenny

Even if I came from the same culture, I'd still be saying "Talk To Her"; some things cannot be left to body language and guesswork. You need to know.

That doesn't mean diving in and saying "I love you" or (much worse) "I want to marry you". It means saying you enjoy her company; that she makes you feel good, that you care.

Pick the time and place, and take it slowly, and you'll soon know if you've said too much - but long before any damage is done. There's no magic signs, really; just make eye contact, and if she looks uncomfortable, then pause for breath and decide if you should give her a chance to say something.

But do take it slowly; otherwise you might mistake emarassment, even surprise, for rejection - which would really make things a little complicated.

Discussion:
"Honest Advice"

orange bullet Young Love
orange bullet Partners
orange bullet Family
orange bullet Just Life
orange bullet Health
orange bullet Friendship

orange bullet Tried and Tested Advice
orange bullet Privacy Policy

weirdity - and more

Archives:

2015, 2012
2011
, 2010
2009, 2008
2007, 2006
2005, 2004
2003, 2002
2001, 2000

Quote: "People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one."
Alex Chiu's Immortality Devices
Do Alex Chiu's Immortality Rings Actually Work? YOU Decide!
30 November 2016  |     |  Contact

Get a diagnsotic report
Sick Site Syndrome Has A Better Prognosis With Early Diagnosis