Friend's Dad Fondles Me
I'm 33 years old and
I have a problem. My best friend's dad (who's married to a beautiful woman who's
like a second mother to me) has recently made passes at me on three different
occassions. My best friend has lived with her mom and dad since she returned from
the Army. I've been a part of the family for many years.
whenever I come to visit now he seems to find a way to touch me inappropriately
without no one noticing. I've always greeted him with a hug and a kiss because
he's always been a father figure, well it seems as though he's taking it too far.
The first time it happened was in his home office. I was helping him out
with something on the computer, as I had done in the past with no problems at
all, when suddenly he began to rub my back in a way that I thought was inappropriate.
I was stunned and I didn't know what to say so I just thought of a way to get
out of there and I did.
Well, the second incident happened a week or so
later when I was at their kitchen sink washing my hands and he came behind me
and pressed himself against me while he rubbed his hands up and down the sides
of my waist. Again I was very shocked and I didn't expect it because his wife
was in the next room and my best friend was on the porch waiting for me to come
I became angry and after that I begin to really be careful whenever
I came over for dinner or just to visit my friend. I started to really distance
myself from him. For a while it seemed to have worked and I thought I was in the
I thought he had got the picture but I was wrong. Just the other
night after leaving my friends house he came out of his office and gave me a hug
good night but before he let me go he dropped his hand from my shoulder and fondled
my right breast. I was shocked that once again he had the audacity to violate
me that way. My only reaction was to squirm up and leave as quickly as possible.
I've known and loved the entire family for at least 12 or 13 years. I'm
not sure why this is happening now but I want it to stop. I'm afraid that if I
approach him, he will deny any wrongdoing and act as if he hasn't done anything.
I'm also afraid that if I keep quiet, he will think his behavior is ok
and therefore, continue. I love his wife very much and I don't want to lose my
best friend whom I also love like a sister. This has the potential to destroy
their family and I don't want to have anything to do with that.
did I mention he's a minister? Yes, that's right a minister. I feel almost embarrased
about asking for advice because at my age I thought I would be able to handle
something like this I guess you don't know what you will do until it actually
happens. Please help me out on this one! Thanks!
several ways around this.
You could make an almighty fuss, which would likely
end your friendship, be your word against his, and be pretty unpleasant.
could simply keep avoiding the situations; be alert, move away, just don't let
You could stop going around there, telling your friend "I'm
sorry, I just find it difficult with your father these days"
confront him one-to-one, and warn him that if he touches you again, you'll scream.
But be willing to carry out the threat, or it'll make things worse.
Or you could
make a joke of it - at his expense. Every time he touches you, in any way at all,
make a 'girlie' scream and say something like "You Lecher, How Could You?",
then turn to the others and say, with a big smile, he just ... whatever he did.
You write your own script, but try this only if you have the confidence to make
And I'm sure there's other ways, too - the key is to have a plan, whatever
suits you - and stick to it.
If you ever see an opprotunity to discuss it -
say there's a witness next time - then take that opportunity; but it might be
best to treat that as a 'first time', else your 'cover up' may cause more pain.
not an easy situation, and I'm sure you should be as honest as the situation allows.
Alas, there's no method guaranteed not to cause heartache.
Whatever you do,
don't lie - it may be that others have had similar experience, and if you protect
him, you undermine them.