Is She Flirting ... Or Is This For Real?

Philly wrote:

I play soccer and I’m in trouble with one of the girls in my team. I don’t know whether she is flirting with me or not.

It started after she helped me out during practice, told me to “go ahead and play, and not just walk!”. She knew I had lost a friend at the time. Then, she helped me for soccer telling me who to pass the ball to, where to run, stuff like that.

It was weird because I had never talked to that girl before as we are on two separate teams in the same club. She is in the better team. At the time I had really appreciated her help. I still do. Since then, things have been weird. She looks at me strange. I do the same because I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t want to accuse her of anything even though I know she is homosexual.

Once during a party, I had put my drink on the table. She came to the table to serve herself, and placed her body right in front of my drink. The only way I could take it was by putting my hand right by her sex. Or else, she stays in front of the doorway when she knows I need to go through. Then, she says “Go ahead, you’re right, why don’t you bump into me while your at it?” This makes me think she is flirting with me. But during other times, she comes right in front of me and says it doesn’t smell good, and laughs with her friends. Otherwise, she fowls me during soccer and says she’s pleased of so doing.

She tries avoiding me all the time. This confuses me a lot. I really don’t know what is going on. Is she flirting with me or am I just overreacting? How do I respond? If she’s not, I don’t want to make a mess in the team by accusing her wrongly. And if she is, I don’t especially want my team mates knowing that either, especially that her girlfriend is in the team.

Dear Philly

Why do you ask?

If you are interested in her, then you know that she wants to be friends, maybe more, so why not talk to her?

If you are not particularly interested, why does a bit of flirting upset you?

And if you don't like her, just ask her to leave you alone.

Point is, if you don't know what YOU want, neither does she. Whatever she wants, she can't be specific, because she's getting nothing back from you.

She's flirting, because that's a safe way to let you know she's interested - in what, that's for you to find out.

Be nice; give the poor girl a hint, why don't you?