Soulmate Doesn't Love Me Any More

Olive wrote:

I was in love, mind, body, and soul with a woman I believed to be my soulmate. She told me that she knew I was her soulmate also. We were together for two years, loving and making each other happy, so I thought. Then when we were right around the corner of our third year together, she tells me she needs space.

It tore me up inside, and I wanted and felt I needed to know what went wrong. Well after some pressing I was able to find out that she felt I was pushing her away. I told her that I would never intentionally do that, she told me that that doesn't change anything. When I expressed that I would like to try again with her she told me that she hadn't crossed us out in her mind but she wasn't ready for that yet. She also told me that she isn't in love with me anymore, she said she loves me as a friend. Then she let me know that she doesn't want to discuss us anymore.

And as hard as that was/is to grasp I am slowly making terms with it. But she seems to be really angry at me because, she doesn't want to do anything with me and half the time she ignores me completely. When I do get a response from her she seems and sounds agitated. But like every once and a while I'll get a friendly conversation from her, making it feel kind of like old times, then it's back to anger.

Is she doing that to mess with my head? She gets along better with my mother than she does me, she always laughing and joking with her. How can you love someone as a friend if you treat them like that? It's hard because we live in the same building together. And even though more than half the time she seems to go out of her way to be mean to me I am still very much in love with her, and would gladly accept another chance to make her happy.

Is the idea of us having a reconciliation obsolete? Am I silly for still loving her considering how she's treating me? Where should I go from here?

Dear Olive

You are not coming to terms with it at all. If you were, you'd give the poor woman some space and stop moping around the place like a victim.

She's told you she loves you as a friend, she's told you she no longer wants to discuss it. What more can she do?

It's over. And even if there was a chance of reconciliation (there isn't), that would be for her to choose, not you. If you care at all about her, then stop disrespecting her choices.

That's why she's 'mean' to you - you make it hard for her to be a friend. That's why she gets along with your mom; your mom respects her as a human being.

Rejoin the human race, and respect your friends ... or move out and get on with your life. But stop playing mind games with your own head. It's silly.