Depressed and happy that way

Effie wrote:

I hope you can help me

About three years ago I met a man who had a bad marriage and had been on anti-depressants for 6 years.

In that time he is still up and down, and every three to four months he
decides we should split.

But he always comes back it is also a rollercoaster ride for myself as I
have no idea what depressions is like.

I have asked him numerous times to seek help.

He always says he dosnt know what he wants. He seems to want everything his way and expects perfection in everything. He shows no empathy for anyone or anything.

Two months ago he decided not to take them anymore, it got to the stage where I couldn't say or do anything right. He then went back on two half tablets twice a week. Still he is edgy, I did not think this was a good thing to do, he is happy in his job it's just his personal life.

He says he loves me, then he doesn't.

Should I stick around to see this through, I love him dearly but in the end I am feeling torn on what to do.

Thank you

Dear Effie

You know by now that he's not likely to change, and that's his choice. Some people become dependent on 'victim status', others are simply firghtened of drugs.

Either way, there's no reason to end your friendship - but if you are thinking long term, then plan with what you have, not a 'different person'.

In fact, if it's a different person you want ... go get one.