I left him - but I love him

Fiona wrote:

I am still in love with my husband who I have not seen or been with for over a year. We are friends, still talk often and reflect on our past and our many good times we had together. I left him and met someone else shortly after leaving him. I am no longer with this other person. My husband, in the meantime, met someone else and is living with her. He says he is happy being with her, but still has not tried to divorce me. He called me today and we talked and talked. I asked him (somewhat kiddingly) to leave her for me. He said he still loves me, but will not give me a clear answer. I am not counting my chickens, nor am I expecting miracles, but I want him back! I compare all men to him and in my mind, no one compares. Yes, I went through the grass is always greener complex when I was with him, but now I know, HE IS BETTER AND I STILL LOVE HIM. Every time I talk to him, it seems that I am getting closer to winning him back. Am I dreaming, or is there something to all of this?

Dear Fiona

You do not mention what was wrong with the marriage; you weren't swept off your feet by the other guy, you were looking for him, because your marriage was failing.

You do not mention it, maybe because you prefer not to remember. But whatever was wrong before will be wrong again - unless you do something now - before you seduce your husband - to fix it.

Of course you get on well with him now; he's relaxed and not fighting all the time; he has a stable relationship and the offer of you on a plate. Doesn't take the best man in the world to manage 'nice' in those circumstances.

Plus you'd love to hurt his new partner, and don't really care if he gets hurt - it would be revenge for you failing without him, and him succeeding without you.

I hope, for your sake, as well as his, that he doesn't fall for your soft soap. Because those who fail to learn the from their mistakes are destined to repeat them.