Marriage on the
My husband and
I have been together for five years but only married
for seven months. We have gone through his infidelity
issues, which I dont trust have stopped. I have
two children from a previous marriage which puts a lot
of strain on our relationship in general even before
we got married. He is not a fully involved step parent;
he takes the back seat most of the time which does not
Our current issue is him wanting a child
and I dont
. we have gone through counseling
and seeing our pastor however he refuses to give me
any kind of answer on if our relationship is going to
keep going or end come this June. I dont know
what the significance is with June but that is what
he mentioned. I feel that he is stalling but he wants
out but again this is only my opinion. The more he waits
the more distant we both become.
understand why he needs three months to figure this
out, he is miserable. I am at my wits end with the whole
situation. I dont know what to do
help me or give me what you think?
Don't ever discuss anything with an ultimatum
hanging over you; there's no need to wait for june;
sort it now.
You haven't actually said what you want.
You have said you don't trust the man you just married,
and you don't want his child; I'm actually a little
unclear why you married him, if you expect him to be
Did you not discuss having children before
you wed? Because if you did, then there's really no
room for argument so soon after, if ever (though with
time, people's attitudes to children really can change).
you agreed not to have children, then it's most likely
that he's using this as an excuse to 'want out'. But
if you did plan to have children together, why have
Point is, if neither of you want to be
married to each other, then separate; and give some
serious thought to why you did it in the first place
- especially after five years living together that obviously
worked just fine. It's an important question, because
this simple - but huge - change in your relationship
has probably brought it close to breaking.
you do it, and what are you (both) going to do about
Once you sort out if you want to be together,
THEN you can sort out questions of parenthood and fidelity.
If neither of you wants to stay together, those side
arguments are just a waste of time and emotion.
picture first. Then details.