For about three years I liked a coworker.
Finally after that time I asked her out on a date. She
accepted and we had a truly wonderful time at a dinner
and a dance. Three days later she invited me over to
her house and for the next two days we spent some really
wonderful moments. We laughed, we shared, we cooked,
movies...etc... some sex but no intercourse.
the second day, we had dinner at a restaurant and we
talked about possibly getting together sexually(intercourse).
She said she really liked me but wanted to take things
slow and that maybe after dinner we might. She mentioned
that she used a sponge that was about 67% safe and that
she did not let any man finish inside her.
we got home, she said that she was not ready and wanted
to take things slow and that I could either stay or
go. I of course stayed and at around 5am, we ended up
having intercourse. As we were having sex, she got on
top of me and after a while I really could not help
myself and I ended up finishing inside her. She got
really furious, rand downstairs to the bathrooom and
in a couple of minutes, she ran back up and in a very
explicit manner told me to get out of her house. I of
course left without saying anything.
later I emailed her and text her twice to apologize
and hope that we could talk. She did not answer and
three days later I sent her another text and e-mail
and she still did not answer. On the second email I
shared something very personal, to the fact that I cannot
have children unless I received treatment. I was not
using that as an excuse, but merely to help her relax
and not stress so much about getting pregnant. I mentioned
that I do have a child with my ex-wife and had to have
treatment. We never talked about it, but she new I was
separated but I am not sure if she new I had a child.
has been about eght days now and she has not responded.
Should I try one more time, should I call her (I have
not called only texted her and emailed her) or should
I just go on with my life and forget about her??? I
do not know what to do. I will periodically see her
at work. we don't see each other all the time at work.
What should I do, I would at least like to end things
on a good note.
Don't know what to do
First, I have to mention - because
you didn't - that both of you were remarkably stupid
not to use a condom at that stage in the relationship.
it's entirely up to her, and no amount of harassment
from you will change that.
She may be angry, and need
time to get through that, she may simply be firghtened
that she is pregnant, and feel abused and disrespected.
We don't know. But we do know that she needs time; first
to find out if she is pregnan, but also to work though
probably mixed feelings. She may never want any contact
with you again; on the other hand, she may come to realise
that you were both equally stupid, and a bit of teamwork
may help you both. Who knows?
There's no useful intervention
you can make at this time. A simple "if you want
to talk about it, here's how to find me - anytime"
is the best you can do. And if you meet at work, be
friendly, but neither push it, nor make assumptions.
Let her have control - But don't 'forget about her'
- events of the next few weeks may make that impossible,