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Feeling left out and confused

Barika wrote:

I have agonized and surfed the net about friendship advice because of something that has been bothering me for quite a while. My friendship circle is quite big. But four of us have been closer with each other than the rest, even though we have all known each other for many years.

"M" was an acquaintance that we all know. She is now in the thick of things, so to speak, and I feel like I am the odd man out. I know she invites the other three friends over and out to dinner and such, but does not call me, even though, in the beginning, it felt like she was stalking me (calling all the time, asking me to go out, etc.). I've confronted her, but she says that "we are fine".

The other three friends seem to have pulled away from me as well, no one calls, it always seems like I'm calling them and I don't want to seem needy but this whole situation is starting to make me paranoid. Do I talk to one of my friends and get her take on this? I don't want to "dump" on them.

Dear Barika ,

People grow apart. Maybe you don't have quite as much in common with them as you used to - maybe they've realised and you haven't until now.

Maybe there is something specific that you hadn't realised had upset them.

If you don't know, I certainly cannot.

But whatever it is, you cannot change it, if they've chosen not to tell you. Just as you choose your friends, so they choose theirs.

Are you sure you want to be friends with people who do not want to be friends with you?

Have it out in the open if that will make you feel better - but that's unlikely to change anything. Better to decide what you want, and move in a different direction.

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