Do I really want him?

Davina wrote:

Hey, I have a complicated issue and I am unsure about what to do. I had a boyfriend with whom I was with for two years when I was younger, about a year ago. I do not fall in love easily, but we truly loved each other. He has been my only true love. However, when I witnessed the bad way my father treated my mother, I began to think that all males were like this, abusive and mean. I was also going through a hard time with my sister being 16 and pregnant-one night stand.

I was scared, so I ran from him. I didnt want to talk to him because every time I did, I wanted to be with him even more. I fell in the arms of a guy I know liked me. He was kind and gentle and very supportive. I did not love him, as the only person I could think of was my previous boyfriend.

My ex was shattered because I did not talk to him and because I started with a new person. After six months, he met a young lady, who is ... perfect. she is skinny and pretty and says all the right things. I know she could never make him happy because she is so little character. She is just a prissy little princess.

I have now come to my senses, told the supportive guy and know that I still love my first boyfriend. He however has also been flirting with another girl, who is very similar to me. I have talked to him and he says that he has forgiven me for being mean but that he doesn't know if I am 'the one'. He also doesn't know about the two other girls. He admits he still has strong feelings for me but won't commit because he doesnt know which girl to chose. What should I do? I don't think I could love anyone else as we got so very close, but it just seems so difficult with all this competition. Do I stay and fight, wait, or leave? is there a better option? HELP!!

Dear Davina

Despite all the excuses, you threw away this fella because you didn't know what you wanted. You still don't.

You've got bored with your 'rebound man', you've been shocked to find that your old flame has managed without you, and you want him back.

But suppose he came back. How long before you run away again, with no explanation? Do you know? More important, does he know? Can he trust you?

You want him to commit, but what's your commitment worth?

Lose him again, and it will be for good; it's 'come down to planet earth' time.