Twice My Age - Wants Me For Sex

Odile wrote:

Dear anon,

Hello, i would like to ask you your advice on a very particular probleme. You see two years ago i met this guy ... he was great straight away we fell in love, i was slightly apprehensive becuase he was 14 years older than me .. but the first weeks went really well of yours all of this was done in secret. Then he had to go to Australia... for work .. but his ex lived in Australia... before he left he told me that what we had was most probably not love ... and in any case impossible ... and then he wrote me a mail from australia saying the same thing ... i couldn't understand everything was great ... he said he loved me ... that was 2 years ago. After that we decieded to be just friends .. but couldn't stop wanting to be with each other ... he more on the sexual side than me ... but i taught that deap down inside he loved me ... i was supposed to stay virgin till marrige ... but decided (sorry for the details ) that for him i would make an exeption but without beeing with him as his girlfriend .... not complete penetration but what we call preliminaries .. if you see what that means ... then he hurt me .. emotionally .. he wasn't there for me when i needed him ... it was stupid for me to forgive him ... but i did it .. then he hurt me again .. and a couple times more ... then he finally got a girlfriend recently ... and he says his happy with her .. but what we have in between us .. even if he hurt me .. i'm sure i hurt him also .. what we have is special .. when we are together we understand each other .. i can't describe what it feels like to talk to someone that gets you so well and we have a complicity ... that's incredible ... but he wants to be with me sexually ... and i would be going against my religion ... his girlfried ... doing something bad ..i don't even want to do it ... he doesn't know that and i've never let him feel my apprehention ... but what to do .. when i ask him why ... he says because it's you and i can't understand why eighter ... Please help me ....

Dear Odile

For all your hurt, you have not told me much about this man - or yourself.

I have to tell you that it reads like an older man trying to take sexual advantage of a young woman.

It may be worse - I suspect you may have been a child when this started - in which case, this man has been grooming you, as he is probably grooming others.

You know by now that all he wants is sex; you know by now that he really does not care about you.

I strongly suggest you seek advice from an adult you can trust - and if needs be, go to the police. This is an evil man; I just cannot be sure how evil without more information.