I don't like my friend any more

Norah wrote:

I used to have this friend named Jean. she and I became really close one summer, and then, a few months ago, she just stopped talking to me. I suspect that she got really jealous of me hanging out with another girl, Marie, who became close with me last year. Jean has always been jealous of my other friends.

I just thought that she was shy and had a hard time joining in on conversations or just making other friends. anyway, she got really upset when one of my friends, Anna, invited me and a bunch of girls that sat at our lunch table to her birthday party a few months ago. Almost everyone was invited except for Jean. I kind of felt bad for her, and I asked Anna why Jean wasn't invited, and Anna said that she was annoying. well, I pretty much agreed with her. Even though I felt really bad about it, I just kept thinking about all these times that Jean bragged to me about going over somebody else's house just to get a rise out of me.

I went to the party, and it was great. Until the next monday when Jean found out. she was really upset, I could tell, and i could totally relate. even though Jean and Anna weren't really friends, i always felt bad when I wasn't invited to a party that my other friends were invited to. but i didn't say anything to her. the next day, she became really buddy-buddy with these other two girls, Nikki and Sammi. she would constantly go over their houses, and she would always burst out laughing in the middle of a crowd with them just to get noticed.

They had a bunch of inside jokes, and Jean always posted on her profile: "Nikki and Sammi, you are the best friends i've ever had and you are so much cooler than anybody else". the same would be written on Nikki and Sammi's profiles. this really got me upset. I know that Jean wasn't invited to that party, but why was she going on and on about it?

Why wasn't she talking to me? i just couldn't believe how the three of them could become joined at the hip in a matter of one night. it's been about eight weeks now, and it's like I'm a ghost to Jean. But the funny thing is, she still IMs me and talks to me in class. I don't get it. why would she treat me that way, and then just go on as if nothing's different. I've tried to talk to her about it, but she won't hear of it. she just gets mad. What should I do? am I doing anything wrong?

Dear Norah

Let's get this straight. You don't like this girl much. She doesn't like you much.

She's playing silly mind games, and you are falling for it, every time. Why?

If she's happy with Nikki and Sammi, that's great; gets her off your back.

Just stop replying to her IMs, move your place in class, and that's it. problem solved. You won't miss her.

If she was really a friend (assuming you liked her), then she'd talk about the problem, not play mind games.

We all choose our friends - she's chosen not to be yours. That's it.