Will Pornagraphy destroy our marriage?
I don't know what to do any more let me start out by the begining. About
two years ago me and my husband had a bad fight and he went to jail for
Domestic Battery. I too had fault though and I tried to get him back home
but the State took over and I could not do anything.
However when my husband finally came home I felt like I was walking on
egg shells, I did not want to disturb him in anyway,and to avoid him in
getting angry and leaving. I still today do what he wants, for example
he told me that he was going to smoke marijuana and I had no right in
telling him not too, that I was not his mother and he can do what he wants.
I took a deep breath, tightened my teeth and said ok. after a few months
he started to tell me that I was boring and lame because I don't smoke
and again to make him happy I started to smoke. There were times that
I pretended to be sick so I didn't have to smoke.
We started to get behind on our bills because the money was going into
smoke every week. Now my biggest problem is that again he is telling me
that I look old, boring, not attractive and he has no desire for me unless
he watches porn.Oh boy this has been an on going arguement I don't want
to be someone else that he fantasieses on to have sex, he streight out
told me that he likes watching porn because the girls turn him on and
I don't, that really hurt me. I found porno hidden in the house even in
the attic. He told me that he is going to continue to watch it on the
computer or buying it and if I still disagree that he will leave. I love
him and of course I said ok.
Now he is telling me that i must watch it too and that would make him
real happy. Anon I tried once I swear and I had my eyes closed, I felt
disgusted and embaressed listening to it and seeing my husband enjoying
it like if I wasn't even there. I have a total open sex life I don't say
no to anything and even if I don't want to have sex I do it to make him
happy, and of course when you say "no" he gets upset. What should
I do, He tells me that he loves me then two days later he is in a bad
Please we even tried marriage counseling and if I dare try to say something
about the porn, he tells them it is not true and then once coming back
home he got angry so I didn't say anything any more, he does the talking
now and all the eyes are on me that I am the moody one, I am never happy
and so on. I feel like I am getting punished for only defending my feelings
and respect. We have been married for 5 years and I just realized that
after that fight two years ago, he never put a hand on me again but his
words hurt me alot. What is wrong here, what should I do ?
Thank you very much.
What's to love?
He treats you like an animal or a slave.
He doesn't hit you, only because he doesn't have to - you do it all his
You've tried talking to him, you've tried counselling. You say you love
him - but it's obvious he does not love you, in fact he couldn't care
less about you.
It's your life; take it back. throw him out, leave, whatever you have
to do. But either get a life - or keep the one you've chosen.
There's no easy way out.