Confused About His Girlfriend
As it states in the name, I'm a little bit confused. I'm a third year
student at University and last semester (September), I met this guy, "K".
He's really sweet and kinda and we hit if off from the beginning because
we both went through some rough patches just before the semester started.
He split up with his girlfriend of two years and my boyfriend dumped me.
We were really good friends all during first semester and I kinda developed
a crush on him. Fast forward - Christmas break I kinda forgot about the
feelings, but when I got back, hey came back 10 fold. We flirt a lot and
I think it's pretty obvious that I've shown I am interested. Even our
friends constantly ask us why we're not going out yet whereby we both
kinda laugh it off as if it is a joke.
And this is the thing: we've fooled around before (a few times when we
were a little drunk) and he's admitted that he's more honest when he's
drunk. Once when he was, he admitted to being "keen" on me for
most of the time and that I was really nice and sweet and he liked me.
Plus he's been getting more affectionate at school. Even my friends notice
that too. A couple times when we out and driving around, he kinda holds
my hand. If I'm not feeling well, he dotes on me and gets me coffee or
rubs my back. He always gets really concerned and is kinda "watching
over me" when we're at school if I'm not feeling my best.
Recently, his ex-girlfriend (the two year one) got in contact with him
and said she wanted to get back together with him and she's willing to
do whatever it takes. But she goes to school on the other coast. He told
her that he'd only be willing to give it another shot because he still
loves her IF she came over here. He says he doens't want to have to deal
with a long distance relationship. She said she'd sleep on it. He told
me all this the day after it happened. It was then I basically confessed
that I am interested in him, although I refer to him as "this guy
I'm interested in who's in our faculty". I'm fairly certain he knows
I'm talking about him though.
His answer to this was for me to stay as friends for now and wait until
next year to see because I'm going home and it's probably not a good thing
to start things now. Because I don't live in this town, but it's not a
far commute. Only about a three hours or so. So my question is: should
I just forget about him over the summer? Or should I kinda hold a torch
for him? I'm only gone for about 4 months and I'll be back here for school
again. I don't want to go back and feel guilty for dating somebody else
and thinking that I've kinda betrayed J in that sense.
I feel like he likes me back and he wants to go out with me, but with
this entire thing with his ex-girlfriend coming back into his life, I'm
just not sure anymore. Even after our conversation, he was still being
affectionate and everything. I'm just so confused! I apologize for the
length of this e-mail.
Dear Texty Gerl
You know the answer to this one, but I guess you needed it from someone
Yes, he likes you; and probably finds you very attractive.
But you are not Number One, she is.
If you are prepared to sit around and wait for them to break up, well
OK. But they might never.
And if they do, and you become Number One, how long before a new number
two catches his eye?
So long as a young man has two women after him, he will always have
difficulty giving his best, or being honest.
This guy isn't even trying; he reckons you'll stick around.
Is he worth crawling for? I doubt it.