Confused About His Girlfriend

TextyGerl wrote:

As it states in the name, I'm a little bit confused. I'm a third year student at University and last semester (September), I met this guy, "K". He's really sweet and kinda and we hit if off from the beginning because we both went through some rough patches just before the semester started. He split up with his girlfriend of two years and my boyfriend dumped me. We were really good friends all during first semester and I kinda developed a crush on him. Fast forward - Christmas break I kinda forgot about the feelings, but when I got back, hey came back 10 fold. We flirt a lot and I think it's pretty obvious that I've shown I am interested. Even our friends constantly ask us why we're not going out yet whereby we both kinda laugh it off as if it is a joke. And this is the thing: we've fooled around before (a few times when we were a little drunk) and he's admitted that he's more honest when he's drunk. Once when he was, he admitted to being "keen" on me for most of the time and that I was really nice and sweet and he liked me. Plus he's been getting more affectionate at school. Even my friends notice that too. A couple times when we out and driving around, he kinda holds my hand. If I'm not feeling well, he dotes on me and gets me coffee or rubs my back. He always gets really concerned and is kinda "watching over me" when we're at school if I'm not feeling my best. Recently, his ex-girlfriend (the two year one) got in contact with him and said she wanted to get back together with him and she's willing to do whatever it takes. But she goes to school on the other coast. He told her that he'd only be willing to give it another shot because he still loves her IF she came over here. He says he doens't want to have to deal with a long distance relationship. She said she'd sleep on it. He told me all this the day after it happened. It was then I basically confessed that I am interested in him, although I refer to him as "this guy I'm interested in who's in our faculty". I'm fairly certain he knows I'm talking about him though. His answer to this was for me to stay as friends for now and wait until next year to see because I'm going home and it's probably not a good thing to start things now. Because I don't live in this town, but it's not a far commute. Only about a three hours or so. So my question is: should I just forget about him over the summer? Or should I kinda hold a torch for him? I'm only gone for about 4 months and I'll be back here for school again. I don't want to go back and feel guilty for dating somebody else and thinking that I've kinda betrayed J in that sense. I feel like he likes me back and he wants to go out with me, but with this entire thing with his ex-girlfriend coming back into his life, I'm just not sure anymore. Even after our conversation, he was still being affectionate and everything. I'm just so confused! I apologize for the length of this e-mail.

Dear Texty Gerl

You know the answer to this one, but I guess you needed it from someone else.

Yes, he likes you; and probably finds you very attractive.

But you are not Number One, she is.

If you are prepared to sit around and wait for them to break up, well OK. But they might never.

And if they do, and you become Number One, how long before a new number two catches his eye?

So long as a young man has two women after him, he will always have difficulty giving his best, or being honest.

This guy isn't even trying; he reckons you'll stick around.

Is he worth crawling for? I doubt it.