I'm A Lesbian - My Friend Isn't
I'm gay ... my friend says shes straight.
However ... she comes off as extremely open-minded, even asking me if
she could go to Pride with me (Im a lesbian). Ive been out
to her ever since I met her, and I assume that she has figured out that
I like her. Only two months after we met, she asked me to go to a lecture
at the university with her, and then we walked around campus at night
afterwards ... when she weirdly told me that she had broken up with her
boyfriend of two years. She said it almost as if she expected a reaction
from me ... she didnt get one.
Ive been working with her for a year now, and she has hung out
and gone out with my lesbian group of friends, always being labeled the
token straight girl of the bunch. She is always asking me
questions about my being gay, although only two months after she broke
up with the boyfriend (aforementioned) she got a new boyfriend. Shes
been dating him for nearly a year now. Sometimes she invites me out to
dinner, just the two of us ... or sometimes over her apartment to just
hang out. She calls me a lot, just to talk or to find out what Im
up to, and shes a big flirt.
But still, she insists that shes straight.
She is graduating in May and is moving across the country back to her
home city for grad school. Although were arent best
friends, we see each other nearly every day ... and Im crazy
in love with her, and Ive never mentioned a thing about it to her.
All of my other friends know. But she still insists shes straight
... but she is very open-minded to everyone Ive seen her around
so far. Shes had no problem with me being gay ever, and in the beginning
asked me all sorts of questions on the topic. Now that has feigned, but
shes still a flirt. Maybe shes leading me on
? But I
know she wouldnt do that. Shes the nicest, most honest and
caring person Ive ever met, and Im not just saying that because
Im in love with her.
My friends think that since shes moving away in three months, I
should tell her how I feel. Some think I should do it now, others think
I should wait until right before she leaves. But Im not sure either
way if I want to tell her and risk our friendship. If I would happen to
tell her how I feel I would have to do so with no expectations from her,
because that would be unfair. And I think that, knowing the kind of person
that she is, shed probably feel angry or uncomfortable around me
... angry because my feelings would have cheapened our friendship because
she would have thought that all along Ive only helped her and hung
out with her because I liked her. What do you think I should do? Should
I tell her? Id really appreciate some outside advice because everyone
on my inner circle is clearly biased and just wants to see how she feels
What kind of friend are you?
"But still, she insists that shes straight."
Isn't your best friend's word good enough for you?
By all means tell her you care deeply, and that you'll miss her. But
from what you say, she has never, ever given a hint that she wants anything
other than a great friendship. No means no, regardless of orientation.
Be a friend, show respect for her views - as she has always respected