My Ex-Fiancee's Friend
I was dumped by my ex-fiancee a year and a half ago. We were living together,
we'd been together for two and a half years but if I'm honest, I could
see it coming. Initially, it took me a long time to come to terms with
it but I did and I believe I'm a better person for it. I then developed
the not so nice approach, inadvertantly, whereby I didn't treat women
with any respect and used them for what I could, which usually ended up
being a one night stand. This obviously boosted my confidence no end and
although I didn't like the person I'd become, I couldn't stop myself ...
I didn't want to stop myself. I felt nothing for any of them and it was
I could count the number of times I've seen my ex since the split on
one hand, so it still knocks me when I see her out but she's, living with
someone else and with a baby and I'm cool with that. The issue I have
is the last time I saw her out, she was with a group of friends one of
which has just come out of a six year relationship she had since she was
in school. There was an instant attraction between the both of us and
when I saw her out again, I made it known to her that I liked her, to
which her reaction was a beaming smile. Since then I've seen her out and
we've both chatted very flirtatiously and I'm more than convinced she
likes me. Obviously I'm aware shes just ended a long relationship and
shes also told me shes enjoying the single life at the minute, which is
cool and I dont want to put her under any pressure but I know shes keen.
I haven't done anything with her but I'm already starting to develop
these feelings, I thought I'd never feel again and havent felt since before
my ex?! Up until now I've loved the single life but this girl makes me
want to change that. She's luminous. The snag is (and there always is
in this case) she said she cant do anything because I'm her friends ex
and to top it off my ex keeps sending the occasional text message saying
she misses me loads and regrets leaving me (despite being the one to finish
things after cheating on me three times and having a baby with someone
else!!!!) What should I do, I can't get her out of my head and I dont
Isn't it time to grow up a little?
Take control of your life, and maybe make a few decisions.
You fail to choose any future, and you think you are letting your heart
rule your head - that's wrong though - you are letting your penis rule
Maybe once you had some understanding of relationships - but from what
you've considered relevant to write, it's all about sex and using people.
Worse still, you think you are using them, and, as often as not, they
are using you.
Stop playing five-year-olds games with your ex. It's not funny anymore,
and there's no future. Just stop playing.
If there's genuine feeling between you and this 'other woman', thenare
you both going to let your ex control your lives? Personally, I doubt
there's anything there except maybe a one-night stand or two, as the attraction
seems entirely physical, but why not take the time to siut down with her
and find out if there is nmore than sexual attraction?
You do not say your age, but I suspect it'stime you realised that these
games have no future, except increasing loneliness. Start behaving like
a man, earn a little self respect, and try to respect others.
Then your relationships may last a little longer. Never confuse self
esteem with self respect. the first may boost your confidence; the second
will boost your life.