Husband is a Drug Addict
My husband, of two separate marriages, is a drug addict. He has been
doing drugs now for 10-12 years. I knew that he smoked pot occasionally,
but I did not know the extent of his addiction until this year. He
also has a problem with crystal meth and cocaine apparently. We were
married the first time for 2 ½ years. Weve been married
this time for 2 years.
During our separation(3 years), he apparently did cocaine and crystal
meth on a weekly basis. When we got back together, he told me that
he had been doing meth, but no longer wanted to do it. I witnessed
his withdrawal symptoms and assumed he was done with it. After months
of him lying to me about EVERYTHING, many traffic accidents, and the
inability to keep a job for more than two weeks, we separated.
Our separation happened when our daughter was five months old(Jan
2005). During my entire pregnancy, he rode out unemployment and raged
when I asked him to get a job. I went on bedrest a few days after
one of his episodes. He never hit me but he yelled for hours and hours
and sometimes would back me into a corner. He was never satisfied
until I was on the ground crying. I filed for divorce in April of
2005 after he charged at me with our baby slung under his arm. We
do not have a court date until Jan 2006.
My question is this... he went to rehab in Sept 2005 for two weeks.
He claims to be healed. He said that he hasnt done drugs since.
I have a hard time believing that someone who has had such problems
could be miraculously healed after two weeks.
I think he is looking for a place to live and wants to be with our
daughter. He just got a job and is begging for another chance. I know
that being a family would be important for my daughter but I just
dont believe that he has really changed.
My family has no experience dealing with addiction or people with
his magnitude of problems. Is it possible he has really changed? or
is he just looking for someone to take care of him?
It is always possible that he has changed - but it's much, much too
soon to know, and the fact he is so overconfident is a very, very
It is impossible to generalise absolutely, but coming off drugs is
not a matter of physical rehab - it's about learning to live a completely
different life. And that takes commitment, courgae , effort - and
If he believes he has done it all after a couple of weeks detox,
then chances are he's a liar or a fool - or he thinks you are stupid
enough to believe him.
Prove him wrong. Stay in control of your life, and protect your daughter.
Even if a miracle has happened (and all things are possible), he still
needs time - and so do you.