In Love With Ex's Friend
My Ex and I went out for two years. Near the end of our relationship,
I got very close to his best friend. Although this was not the reason
why I decided to break up with my ex, he thought it was and never
talked to his best friend since.
After the broke up, his best friend and I have developed our friendship
into a very serious relationship. We both share a connection we have
never experienced before. We do all the couple things sneakily, at
non-public places. What kills me is that we can't be together because
he is afraid of losing all the other friends whom we hang out with
(also my ex's close friends.)
No one knows about our relationship and thinks we are just very close
friends. He thinks what we are doing now (behind everyone's back)
is not acceptable. We talked about being the closest friends for as
long as we can (since we can't have the relationship we want.) But
it is very difficult especially when I know I will have to let go
of him one day.
The special case about our relationship is that before we got ourselves
into this relationship, he was checking out this girl and now still
hangs out and flirts with her. He told me that I am one of the biggest
reasons that he is still not pursueing her (even when all our friends
are trying to help and push him towards her.)
Maybe its because he accepts the fact that its impossible for us
to be together that he still keeps her around, but my jealousy grows
stronger and stronger because I know I "can't" have him.
I know he wants this relationship as much as I do but he fears of
the consequences to follow.
How can we get around this?
Hindsight is a dreadful thing; but if you'd both been open and honest
in the beginning, whatever fuss there was would have long ago died
Now, he is living in fear and you daren't rock the boat - though
I suspect you'd rather stand up and face the music than he would.
But as time passes, it does get more difficult; the deception has
gone on for so long that you'd lose the trust of everyone you've lied
to - which is pretty near everone you know, I guess.
The choices are horribly simple - be honest, or split up or leave
town and start again elsewhere.
You never mentioned leaving town, so I'm sure that's not a real option.
Of the others, neither will be easy - and both will be tougher, the
longer you leave it.