Will a baby bring us back together?
My boyfriend and I are both in the military. We met a year ago during
a hardship tour. On our first date we both experience "love at
And were even more pleased when we talked all night about our future
hopes and dreams. We both fit the description of our dream husband
and wife. Needless to say we have been seriously dating ever since.
I had to move back to the U.S. and he had to extend overseas for
another 18 months due to job requirements. While we were together
we both had busy schedules but, he notably worked more long hours
than I did. I didnt really consider it a problem at the time because
I was content spending every night together.
Right before I left I started to feel a little lonely because we
were not able to spend enough quality time together in preparation
for the extended separation. So I convinced him to take a five day
vacation with me. He agreed to go but did not help me plan the trip
and worked literally hours before we got on the plane.
We went on vacation, but he never seemed to fully relax and let go
of work. He was always seemed preoccupied with work and even made
calls back to the office. There were even times when he seemed to
having nothing to talk about unless it was work related. We even got
into an argument because he didn't like the activities I planned and
I reminded him that he refused to take part of the planning process.
His excuse was that he was too busy working. As I started contemplating
break up with him, he finally profess his love for me. Rejuvenating
my hope in a happy future.
Increasingly more and more in our relationship he uses his work or
the military in general as an excuse for his behavior. I remind him
that I am in the military to but that if something is important to
you, then must make time for it and prioritize. He thinks that I am
too "needy" and will never be satisified.
When we returned from Hawaii we went to visit our families in the
D.C. area. Previously we had planned to meet each others parents and
spend as much time together as possible. After we arrive in D.C. I
barely saw or heard from him. In fact, I had to drive over two hours
round trip just to briefly meet his father. And he even conveniently
got "food poisioning" the day he was supposed to have dinner
with my parents. I was so hurt
and angry that I was ready to break up with him. He complained that
things were moving "too fast" and that he felt "out
of control." I still dont understand that. We have been planning
our future together from
the first day we met and now he is upset?
We have been dating for six months now. The first three months we
lived together. Everyday he would ask me if I was pregnant and talk
about having lots of children. When I would tell him that I wasn't
he would express disappointment. When I first moved away he even talked
about getting married when he got back and talked about baby names
for our future children.
However, the past two months have been terrible. He rarely calls,
e-mails or writes. He said that he "wasn't sure if marriage or
children is a good idea," and blames the sudden change on an
increased workload. He claims that he still loves me and is not seeing
anyone else. He says that he wants to maintain the relationship as
long as I dont fuss at him for not
I still love him and am scheduled to visit in Sept . I was even contemplating
having a baby to seal the deal on commitment. My mother thinks that
he has cold feet and needs the extra push and that is why he wanted
the baby to motivate him. He is very traditional in the roles of men
and women in marriage and does not believe in divorce. We are both
never married with not children. We are both Christians and want to
children within the commitment of marriage.
My questions are; Can my relationship survive his workaholic behavior?
Will a baby help improve my relationship and promote marriage?
Thanks and sorry so long
It's over. It's Over. IT'S OVER.
It was nice while it lasted, but it didn't last.
Babies are not designed to be used as blackmail tools - it won't
work, and you'll resent your child forever. Your mother may be insane.
IT'S OVER - move on, find someone who wants more than sex.