Split up ... but we still care ...
I split up with my ex about a year ago now.
The reason we split up was because I had started university along way
from where we had been living. We lasted long-distance for five more months
before we decided that we couldn't bear the hurt of living with that type
of relationship as it WAS difficult.
Since then we have remained close friends and constantly speak to each
other, even though he has a new partner now with whom he has numerous
arguments, and I normally hear about them from him.
His partner doesn't like me an awful lot because there are suspisions
that we still like each other, and one New year's Eve just gone he got
extremely drunk and confessed his still being in love with me ... which
his partner later discovered.
Anyway the point I am trying to make is that I still think about him
awful lot, every day, and its killing me inside. Its also very annoying
because I don't want to have these feelings when I don't see what I can
do about it, as I only have one year left at university which I feel is
Should I tell him that I feel the same now as I have since the day I
met him? Or do I leave things as they are, and just hope that it won't
take another year for them to go away?
Fantasy is so much easier than real life, isn't it?
It's nice now; you have the vicarious pleasure of his anguish at the
hands of the New Woman, and no need to have any conflict, because you have
And you've neatly forgotten the pain the made you split up in the first
Remind me, whose idea was it to split up? And how long had you been together?
And what would be different now?
Other than the current girlfiend taking your role as confidante, teasing
him about the futility of ling term, long distance relationships while
you tried to make it work.
And how did his partner hear of his secret confessions to you?
Get real; this guy has got it made, hasn't he? A gf at uni, and a first
reserve back home. You have chosen to be a doormat - or you have chosen
to carry on a campaign to undrmine his current relationship.
So you are a fool or a spiteful woman. And if you win, what will your
defence be, when you get treated exactly the same.
No man on this planet is worth throwing away your self respect for. If
he preferd you to his girlfriend, he'd have said - or not got a girlfriend
in the first place.
Once a doormat ...