Infatuated with older men
I'm a twenty-year-old college student who finds older men very attractive.
I think it's really strange that I'm consistently infatuated with only
men who are at least a decade or more older than me and am wondering if
such a preference could be problematic.
Recently, I have developed a rather embarrassing crush on one of my professors
with whom I'm on friendly terms. I was talking to a friend yesterday and
told her I would consider hooking up with my professor if he ever showed
any interest in me and she said such hook-ups are pretty common at out
university. When I asked her if she would do it, she said yes providing
that it helped her grade!
Please understand my university is extremely cut-throat competitive (the
second most selective ivy league) so this sentiment isn't rare (although
that doesn't make it any less culpable). Anyway, I don't think I have
any ulterior motive for finding my professor extremely attractive so would
it be wrong if something happened between us?
Of course this is purely speculative but I was just wondering if I consider
a relationship with my professor if things develop in that direction?
Also, what keeps making me fall for older men? Is it common?
On age; it doesn't really matter; it may be that you are a little frightened
of relationships, and you feel safer with older men; it may be that there's
issues about your previous relationships with older men, including your
father, that are having some subconscious effect. But there's always subconscious
issues affecting your choice of friends, age is just one factor, and by
no means the most important. it certainly isn't rare, and is a phase for
certain less confident women, rather than a permanent interest
On using relationships to get what you want; of course it happens; the
casting director's couch, the teacher's store room ... what they all have
in common, is that the junior partner (usually the female), rarely gets
what she wants, and usally ends up hurt, cheapened, humiliated and lonely.
Yes, it might help your grades. But it might ruin them, if oit doesn't
On power figures; his power may be the attraction, and however much you
care, you might lose him his job, his friends, and his wife.
What worries me most is the way you are making such a cold calculation;
I hope I've helped you to make a choice based on the possible profits
and the risks. If it feels a little like prostitution, it's probably best
to move on, however.