Love Out of the Window?

Diana wrote:

I know that you have had many people ask you if they should stay with someone or not because he/she will not marry them. Well I have something kind of like that.

My boyfriend and I have been together for just a little over two years. We bought a house last year, he bought me a car about six months ago. The big thing is that I do not have the strongest credit and he has super credit. Anyways, I spoke to him a few weeks ago about getting married. I really thought that he just did not want to.

Well he said that he does want to get married but his main thing is that he is going to be refinancing the house in about a year, and he said that if we were to get married right now that my credit score would pull his down and it will be harder to refi.

At first when I thought about that it seem right, but then the more that I thought about it the more that it did not seem right. I cannot convince him that what he is thinking is not true. He said that once you get married that credit merges and then that is when ever thing gets messed up. I am asking you, is this true? Will my bad credit mess up his credit if we were to get married?

Dear Diana

I really don't have a clue, and it really isn't the point, is it?

Either you both want to get married, or you don't - it takes two.

Marriages may - or may not - be made in Heaven, but they sure as hell are not made in the bank. You both seem obsessed with money, and neither seems particularly interested in spending the rest of your lives together.

Either have a money-free conversation, and sort out what you both want, or carry on spending for as long as it lasts.

But be warned; it may be all or nothing - and I suspect you'd be happier with things just as they are.