I've Been A Little Unfaithful

Maree wrote:

This is my first time writing . I have this problem .

I have been with this guy for a little over a year. He has become very possessive, controlling and jealous person. I know he loves me. I love him too.

But, about four months ago he got in trouble with the law. He went to jail. We kept in touch by me visiting him and writing. We had plans on getting married when he got out.

About two months ago I saw a good friend of mine whom I knew for almost four and a half years. He is going to be forty and I am 35 years old. He makes me feel good about myself. I fell for him. We both feel like there might be a future for us together.

The thing is that we both didn't think it would go this far and we don't want anyone to get hurt. I have made a decision But I don't know how to go about it. My fiance went to jail cause of violence. We are both scared that he might do something to us or himself.

How can I do this without hurting anyone?

Dear Maree

Are you talking about mental or physical pain?

Being dumped after just two months in the slammer might be a little painful - mentally speaking - for your violent boyfriend. And I'm guessing if it wasn't for the fear of violence, you'd have fallen for someone even quicker. Ten minutes? An hour? What?

You've not said enough for me to make a guess about the risk of self harm; but I do feel able to say that once he's out, he'll come and pay a social call. On the other hand, if he has friends on the outside, that call might come a little quicker.

Physical pain is a serious option here, and I strongly recommend you get real quickly; and maybe get outta town, too.

Either you have some weird idea about the meaning of 'love', or you really are almost incredibly stupid.