I want to be his friend again

Fiona wrote:

I want to say i'm sorry, need advice.

Well I met this guy five years ago and we were really good friends we would always hang out and he would drive out of his way for me. We never fought and we liked to be around each other I basically called him my best friend.

Well two years ago I left him hanging. I met some other guy, got drunk and ended up with him. I didn't call my friend because the guy I meet was really controlling and abusive he wouldn't let me call anyone or do anything. I was trapped.

Then I got pregnant and didn't find out until 4 months later. I ended up moving with him bacause I didn't have any where else to go. He beat me up more and more and finally kicked me out leaving me hanging.

I eventually moved back with my mom and left the abusive guy. I was there stuck pregnant with the abusives baby and ended up keeping her.

Now that its been so long I really miss my best friend. We hang around the same people but we never talk to each other anymore.

The only thing is though, is that we have gotten drunk a couple times and ended up messing around. We have never had sex before and we were going to once but I said we should wait. Well 1 month ago we were messing around and we were going to do the deed and he said I have to wait.

You have to remember we never talk to each other unless we are secretly alone. I really think I broke his heart and I am really sorry about what I did and I want to be his friend again, I don't really care about us having sex but I care about him . what does it mean that he wants to wait? And how can tell him I am sorry for what I did and tell him that i want our friendship back?

Dear Fiona

Do you really like this guy, or the fact that you can use him until something more exciting comes along. You say you want to be his friend, but you are still dishonest; you tell me that you couldn't phone - that's not true, is it? However controlling this man came to be, he wasn't controlling from day one; but still you could find it in your heart to call your Best Friend - and even now you cannot be honest about it.

Put yourself in his shoes, and ask yourself why he should ever trust you again.

Even now, given your shame of talking to him in public, he has turned down the opportunity to use you as you have used him. And would again.

You cannot turn back the clock, you cannot have what you threw away so callously. But you can start again, and build a new friendship - if that's what you really want, if he's who you really want. And if you are prepared to be honest.

But if you just want him because being a single mother is a bore, then leave him alone.