Advicemeant - Honest Advice
Home | About | Warning | Forum | Contact | Privacy | Tried & Tested
Custom Search

Can Pornography Be OK?

Ursula wrote:

In all your responses to pornography issues in relationships, you seem to make it very clear that porn is completely o.k. and I disagree. My boyfriend use to frequently watch porn, matter of fact, I think he had an addiction to it. How is that healthy for a relationship?

My therapist once told me that in all her years as a therapist she has never seen porn bring anything good to a relationship. It brings a lot of hurt and alot of other problems.

Besides, if porn isn't anything unhealthy, then why do we forbid our children from it when their young if its ok when their older?

My question is this: Can you tell me how pornography is o.k. in a relationship if it hurts your significant other?

Dear Ursula

I have no recollection of ever having said that pornography is OK; and I have frequently discussed the harm it can do in a relationship.

What I have said, is that if your man uses pornography, he is unlikely to change, so you need to decide whether to live with it, or walk away.

And that is rather different.

As it happens, there are couples who do enjoy pornography together, and find it improves their sex lives, and does no harm to anybody ... so you might like to consider that it is not necessarily pornography that is either good or evil, but the fact that people have different views on it. I know of a marriage that split up because the man loved pigeons, and would not stop his hobby for his wife; I've heard of relationships splitting up over all sorts of issues and addictions.

But there is no doubt that if one partner loathes or fears pornography, and the other is addicted, then there is a major problem. And I have never, ever, said otherwise.

I'm sorry that you therapist is 'taking sides' on this issue; she obviously has little experience and less training. While I am here to give my view (which you asked for, but do not have to agree with!), Your therapist has a rather different job.

As for children and porn - do you seriously expect me respond to such a silly point? My advice here is do not have children until you are sure you can protect them - and not only from porn.

Please Note: I am NOT a physician, and any 'health advice' should NOT be taken to be "Medical Advice" - because it is not - my aim is to give you a few possibilities to be thinking about, and some general 'common sense' advice - if my advice says see a doctor, then see a doctor!

"Honest Advice"

orange bullet Young Love
orange bullet Partners
orange bullet Family
orange bullet Just Life
orange bullet Health
orange bullet Friendship

orange bullet Tried and Tested Advice
orange bullet Privacy Policy

weirdity - and more


2015, 2012
, 2010
2009, 2008
2007, 2006
2005, 2004
2003, 2002
2001, 2000

Quote: "People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one."
Alex Chiu's Immortality Devices
Do Alex Chiu's Immortality Rings Actually Work? YOU Decide!
30 November 2016  |     |  Contact

Get a diagnsotic report
Sick Site Syndrome Has A Better Prognosis With Early Diagnosis