I want my ex's best friend

Leah wrote:

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for a good 6 months. He has already moved on, and claims to be in love with his new girlfriend,
which is fine that is his business.

My problem is that I've become close friends with his best friend, but its growing into being more than that. The friend and I spend a lot of time together. I have developed strong feelings for him and I know that he has the same feelings for me because he has told me so.

The problem here is the friend will not offically date me (as in be boyfriend and girlfriend) because, even though my ex has moved on,
he has threatened the friend that if the friend dates me those two will
no longer be friends.

If you were to see the friend and I together in public, like the at the
mall for instance, by the way we act you would think that we were a couple. We talk on the phone all the time, chat online all the time, go lots of places together, etc. He has even told me once that he loves me. I do not know what to do because it tears at me that we "cannot be together", and I know it really bothers the friend up too. We had decided a while ago to just be friends, but we also still share intimate moments. I told the friend that I could no longer do that because I needed more than just a friendship, and we still do things together as if I never said anything. I do not know whether I should do what makes me happy and leave things as they are now because I can still at least spend time with him, or tell him I can't continue with what we have anymore because the whole situation still bothers me. I feel its almost a doubled edged sword no matter what I do because if I keep things the way they are, it will never be more than that, and that upsets me. Yet, if I tell him that I can't continue, I could lose him totally. I don't know what to do. Please help.

Dear Leah,

It's decision time; you tell me the boyfriends moved on, then he'll allow his ex to move on, too. Either way, the Secret Love has to make a decision.

But be warned, it sounds to me like he enjoys the sex, but does not want a relationship. I hope he proves me wrong. Ask him, and this time, get an answer.