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Marriage In Trouble

Hastee wrote:

My husband and I have been together 4 years and married 1 year and a half, we have no kids. We grew up on opposite sides of the track. He grew up with gangs, drugs, 1 parent only and he is the oldest of 7.

I on the other hand grew up the youngest of 5, finished high school, and with both of my parents. We are 7 years apart. I'm 25 and he's 31.

Anyway, over the past couple of years we have been at each others throats on and off. Now I found out the he's been doing speed and he recently admitted to me that he had been doing on and off our whole relationship. My world absolutely crumbled!!
I couldn't believe what I was hearing and most of all I counldn't believe that he had been lying to me all these years when I have asked him.

I have been on anti-depressents/anti-anxiety medication for almost 2 years. Now he's accusing me of being "addicted" like I tell him he is. I am finally weening myself off, because I drink and I know it doesn't work that way. Yes, I used to drink occasionally, but now I have found myself drinking almost everyday ( beer only).

My family tells me that that's the way addicts are. They throw the focus on anything other than themselves so they don't focus on their problems. I always thought the late nights, not sleeping, mood swings were from him being just depressed, because he had lost his job. Now I know that truth and I honestly don't know if I can live through it. Please help me with some advice. Is my marriage doomed to fail?? Please tell me the truth.
Thank you,

Dear Hastee

The problem for you, and probably for the marriage, is that you think you are better than him.

A problem specifically yours is that your addiction problems are as serious as his, and yet you balme him and seem too be happy to live in denial.

First decide if you actually want the marriage to survive; maybe your also-in-denial family would rather you split?

If you do decide to try and make things work, be ready to pay the fees - toatl honesty with yourself and him, and try to stop blaming him for your problems, he has enough of his own!

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