My Sister's Ex

Liv wrote:

I was friends with a guy I'll call Steve for about two years. At that time I started to notice there were a lot of things in his personality that I didn't care for. He was immature, bossy, a know-it-all when he didn't know much of anything, and at times downright mean.

I started seeing him less and less and then along came my sister. She got into a relationship with him. The things I didn't like about him seemed to get worse over the course of their relationship. It got to the point that I couldn't stand him and often avoided my sister in an attempt to avoid him. The relationship came to an end after about a year and a half and frankly, I was thrilled.

After about a month of her being single she confided to me that he had not only cheated on her but had also been physically abusive. I was infuriated. I had been through an abusive relationship myself and thought I had seen the signs in him but put them aside as paranoia.

The point is, it's been about six months since they broke up and I just got a call from her house-from him. After giving him a few choice words I found out that she was perfectly ok with him being there.

I don't know what to do. I honestly hate this person. If this continues and they become a couple again I really don't think I can take it. I think I will have to end any relationship I have with my sister. What else can I do? He makes me crazy with anger and rage. I don't thnk I can be civilized around him after finding out everything he did to her. Please help.

Dear Liv

I think you are being a little bit selfish. This isn't about you, and has not been for a long time. It's about your sister. It seems to me that ending your relationship with her is more punishment than she deserves. I fact I'm not really convinced you need to punish her at all. Why do you wish to add to her troubles?

You might even consider being supportive - if you can see beyond your own emotions.