Will he ever want more?

Girl631 wrote:

Hey! I'm a college sophomore. I met this guy Brad at a party last year (spring semester) and was immediately attracted to him. We ended up hanging out alot and yes (gasp!) sleeping together.

The year ended and we talked sporadically throughout the summer. I know he was with other people and so was I. We came back to school in August and didn't really hang out again until late october. BUT--we kept hanging out all the time, I slept at his place every weekend and we partied..ALOT. He really isn't a "good" guy. He smoked pot, sleeps around (in the past) and drinks alot but I love him for who he really is.

Now- here's the confusing part. By the end of the semester we were really close and he left his promiscuous ways behind. He even told me that he used to hook up with a lot of people but now he just wanted to be with me but nothing was ever official. Over winter break he went hooked up with someone (no sex, just fooled around) and he told me about it when he came back. Lately I just can't take the thought of him being with anyone else and I REALLy just want him to be my boyfriend, do you think it will ever happen? If so any ideas on helping me get there?? THANKS SO MUCH Y'ALL!!

Dear Girl631

It might happen, but there's no way you can force it. With his history, any pressure will have him running out of the door at lightspeed.

He is who he is; remind yourself that you knew his history, and accepted it. That's who he is.

Do talk to him, it may be that he really is looking to settle down - but unless he's said something that *really* suggests that, you'd be very, very unwise to assume it.

Be clear, what's your priority, him - or settling down. If it's settling, then you picked the wrong guy. Enjoy the relationship, go where it takes you. If that's not enough, move on, don't destroy it!