I can't cope without him

Aimi399 wrote:

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and I finished with him last week. The reason I finished with him was because it was getting to the point where we were arguing most of the time and I felt he had very little respect for me. He was always putting everything before me, he spoke down to me and when we would go out (maybe once a month) he would hardly speak to me. He was constantlty look at other women and when I would comment on this he would say I was over reacting and paranoid. Everythime I would try to discuss any of these things he would not listen and said I was always moaning.

The thing is I really miss him and don't know what to do. I heard just last night from one of my friends that she saw him in the street saying to his friend 'there are some really fit girls round mine, do you want to come round' I can't believe that he could do this so soon. We used to be so close. He wrote me a message saying he still loved me and missed me.

Do you think I should attempt to give things another go? I really feel like I can't cope without him it feels like he is part of me and I don't know how I can be myself without him. then I fear if I go back things will be the same as before. Do you think I need to see a councellor?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Dear Aimi

I very much doubt you need a counsellor.

A week is a very short time after four years.

You miss him, partly because you care, partly because he was "there" and partly because there's a big gap where he was.

Give it time.

Reread your first paragraph - you don't REALLY want to go back, do you?

Don't worry about what he says, or what others say. It may be true, it may not. It may be said to hurt you, or to try and get you back (weird guy!!). What matters is what you want right now. And I'm guessing that self respect counts. The pain (and you are entitled to hurt) will get less ....