Love and Money

Babs wrote:

I just got a divorce after 8 years of marriage and two children. After my husband moved out (before the divorce was over) I meet a wonderful, caring, sincere man. A cousin of one of my best friends.

After our "secret" was out it caused a lot of problems with friends and family that after five months finally began to fade. My very best friend since school days kept warning me not to get so serious right away but things just did all on their own. I know I love him and he loves me but listening to my friends advice about slowing things down and maybe seeing other people and dating for a while seemed logical.

She introduced me to a man, we went out a few times to dinner and had such a good time. He too is a nice honest person. The problem is that the first man lost his job a while ago, lives in a terrible neighborhood with no way out, can't even afford to fix his car that he just smashed.

I know he doesn't have any money except from unemployment, no saving account. Being that I own my own home, have a good job and mainly two kids, this bothers me.

Is it right to take this in consideration? I'm trying to be practical and I'm worrying about what my future would be like? I have explained to him that I need some time away and it is killing him. I'm just afraid that if I leave him I'll regret it and it will be too late, I'd have lost him.

Dear Babs

What's the hurry? There's no law that says you have to commit to anyone, and there's certauinly no need to rush.

Can't you stay friends?

If he's pushing you to make a decision, you need to ask why. What's his hurry?

And if you feel forced to make a decision much, much too soon, then please think of your kids; like it or not, you must protect their future before you make hard-to-reverse decisons.

Far better to stop flapping and enjoy good friendships and a happy family.