My husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years. We are 12 years
different in age. He is older. He has two sons that are only 3 and 5 years
younger than I am.
My husband has always been a jealous person. Once to the point that he
was physically abusive. I left and then we went to counseling. For a long
time it was better, but now it's getting bad again. He cannot handle it
when I talk to his sons at all. Mostly his youngest son. We like the same
music and we are both poets. Our relationship is not inappropriate in
any way. His son just lent me two books and my husband is having a huge
fit over it.
I can't stand him not trusting me. He asks me the same questions over
and over again and I am always under the spotlight. I have told him that
this is his "son" and it was absolutely rediculous that he even
think I would think of his son in any romantic way. I'm going crazy! I
hate the vicious circle of jealous he goes through.
What should I do? The counseling helped, but now he insists I "make"
him feel better about himself. I tell him all the time I love him, but
he wants me to literally tell him almost 100 times a day. I don't think
counseling will help now just because he sees this as I don't do enough
to help his self esteem. We have 2 young children together and I don't
know what to do. Please help.
You cannot make him feel better; all you are doing is allowing him to
make it your problem ...
It might be useful for you to consider how his first family broke up;
is there a pattern here, or is he perhaps feeling guilt over some past
or present infidelity? How is the marriage other than this? But, either
It is his problem. Not yours. He needs help, and you need to stop letting
him bully you. If he cannot accept that it is his problem, then you should
consider leaving him before he loses control again.