Husband prefers pornography

Katie wrote:

My husband turn to net-porno almost everynite and that really hurt me. Yes, I did had a heart-to heart talk to him about my feeling towards pornograpy, especially those with ample tops. Not that I'm not attractive enough for him. But ended up into a big argument and bad feelings. He felt that I,m nobody to tell him what to do and what's wrong with pornograpy. We've been married for 6 years and have 3 beautiful children together, I'm hurt and don't know how to deal with situation like this. (not willing to compromised) Please help.

Dear Katie

There's two quite separate issues here.

1. Pornography

Is it completely new, or did he always have such an interest? Think about it, as changing the rules always causes trouble.

Why are you arguing about the size of their tops? Would it be OK if he looked at flat chested pornography? You are confusing him. And me!

2. Your marriage

It is most unusual (though not impossible) for a man to turn from no pornography to daily, if the marriage is good. You say he hurt you. Have you ever hurt him? Forget the porn for a few days, and study the marriage. Fix that and maybe he won't need porn.

Or is he hurting you in other ways too?